Friday, 7 November 2014

"Goodbyes are not forever, goodbyes are not the end, they simply mean I'll miss you until we meet again"

A week last Monday, I went to Showcase Live in Under The Bridge, Chelsea. I was really excited for this gig as I was looking forward to seeing Kingsland perform in such a brilliant venue. However a few days before, we found out it would actually be Jay's last gig with the band. 
It's taken me so long to write this as I wasn't really sure how to say what I wanted to, I still can't put into words the impact Jay's had on my life, he really is one special lad.

(first and last picture with Jay)

When I found out Jay was leaving, I cried for two days straight. That sounds so silly as he is of no relation to me, nobody had died and he was leaving as he wanted to be happy elsewhere. Nonetheless, I've met Jay countless times, and there's never been a single occasion where he hasn't been more than lovely to me. I spend most of my money on Kingsland and over the past two years I have gotten to know them well. Whilst I'm just a fan, I think the world of them and would do anything for them.  The boys are like brothers and I'm used to them as a five piece, which is why I found it hard when hearing Jay's decision.

Jay is always the one that can make you smile, personally just hearing him say hello in his Wolverhampton accent makes me happy. He is always so appreciative towards the fans, I can't remember a single time where he hasn't thanked me for "coming all this way" when he knows that I wouldn't do it if I didn't love doing so. His hugs are literally out of this world cos he sways you from side to side and you feel really safe when you're with him (soz cringe haha).

Surprise surprise, the night of the gig, my tears kept flowing. As we waited to go into the meet and greet, he came outside to see the fans. All he did was hug me which was enough to start to set me off. Once we went into the meet and greet, I managed a few words at most, grabbed two hugs and smiled for our last group picture with the boys before I burst into tears - his father was on hand to cheer us up, such a lovely man (you can see where Jay gets his kind nature from).
The gig itself was horrendously emotional - most of us cried during Shoreline. SHORELINE. The most upbeat and happy song of theirs, yet we were all messes (most cried during the words "for one last time" whilst I just sobbed every time Jay had a solo as it would be the last time he's sing his parts). It was horrible to see the boys getting emotional on stage too, when they're normally very upbeat. It didn't help that they sang Try and Heaven Knows, both of which make me emotional under normal circumstances!

As soon as their set ended, all the fans flooded outside and it must have been the most mind boggling sight as everyone was sitting on the floor or huddling together crying, it looked as though the world had ended to be honest haha. 

Eventually we got our final goodbyes with Jay, he was ever so precious. I actually managed to say what I wanted to him, whilst casually sobbing on his shoulder, not embarrassing at all ✋ I made sure I had my final hugs, they're going to need to keep me going for a while.

I'm going to miss Jay so much, he was a literal ball of sunshine in the band and was a favourite to everyone even if he wasn't actually their favourite. He always treated everyone so nicely and had time for each person, no matter who you were. I really hope he finds his true happiness, he deserves it for being such a special person. I will always treasure the memories I have with him. Whilst I know it will be a long time before I see him again, I hope that saying goodbye won't be forever.

Hwyl am y tro ✌️